I was always perplexed by many of the the explanations given about the art of manifestation. I invested many years, doing the positive thing, speaking precise "good and spiritual mantras", positive language. If my memory serves me I went an entire year afraid of saying the word not, and I was half dead at the end of that year.
Affirmations and empowered language, works, and there is great truth in that approach, however if your inner child does not feel safe enough to go along with the change, it will not manifest.
This was an amazing concept for me. I decided to pursue this inquiry with greater depth. That is when I got interested in the work of Max Freedom Long, and deep dived into the practice of Ho'oponopono. Another powerful resource is "User Illusion" by Nor Torreanders. Anyone seeking a greater understanding of consciousness, these are a must.
I already was heavily into studying consciousness, and this was a big missing piece for me. Another piece was understanding transformation, or lack of, as the possibility we only have 1 or 2 patterns we are dealing during the course of this life, and when the old memory or trauma is triggered, w e usually deal with it in a predictable way, That predictable reaction gives the pattern greater force and we become magnetized to draw in more of the same. Similar people and similar situations. This repeats until we heal it. If we don't heal it,it continues and is passed on to our children and on it goes.
Repeating patterns magnetize our being to draw the pattern again and again.
I lightened up a lot. It helped me let go of many of my judgments, and I had already developed a system that allowed me to uncover these hidden conversations.
For example, if I was told as a child money is the root of all evil, and as I go through life struggling with this, I could do affirmations all day long for years until I get present to this conversation.
Your inner child or subconscious will not align with your prayer or outcome unless it trusts the change. The subconscious/inner child refuses to align because it fears the new conditions which are being asked for. As you deepen your connection to your inner child you will be able to hear if he/she is willing to go along. It will not if there is some old stored memories that make it unsafe. If the subconscious fears change to the NEW, it will block the manifestation.
Today I met a wonderful couple, I had so much fun. We talked transformation, the plant kingdom and shared stories. We were playing with some of my flower essences and we noticed sometimes change will not happen unless we were ready to let go. Sometimes we stay stuck, just because we don't feel safe.
But inside is always there, and your inner child will speak if you learn to listen. Your inner child is also biased toward enjoyment and feeling good. Because if this inherent bias we respond to the beauty of the sunset, enjoy good food, love to love, want freedom and integrity.
Find some good inner child visualizations. There used to be one on you tube. Search "inner child meditation " by Dr. I'Haleakala Hew Len. Your life will be unrecognizable in months. I think it is 16 minutes. Another Life Changer.
The tooth Fairy is callilng me back to Mexico, ugh! I will write more on Wednesday.
Sometimes life is a rough road, and my owner manual was vague and unclear.Just know I am sharing my personal journey and tools that have worked for me. This is the road I created for me, you have yours.
This is one of many roads to discover your authenticity. I have found great freedom in assuming responsibility for my creations and my life. Like I said it is simple and not always easy.
I am sharing this in hope that if there is anyone out there has worked their butts off, and things do not seem to have changed much, you might find some insights here.
One of the most insightful and sacred moments of my life happened about 6 or 7 years ago.
I was feeling whooped, tired and longing for some peace. I had found a vial of a homeopathic remedy given to me, it was to support me through some tough stuff. I opened my mouth allowing the pills to dissolve. Shortly thereafter I experienced a conversation with God.
God began to speak to my heart talking about the thousands of His pathfinders on the earth at this time. How vital this work is for carving new pathways into the consciousness of man, and that it is hard work and great progress was being made. He also shared how so many of his pathfinders were tired and feeling defeated.Many were filtering their experiences through the lens of good/bad, right/wrong and had some serious attachments on how their journey looked. That was me!
The next few hours were a recapitualtion and exploration of some of what I had accomplished. It was wonderful to see a bigger picture, and then experience an infilling of "light" and hope.
It always amazes me how assuming a greater responsibility leads to a greater inner trust and a greater capacity to love.
I often reflect on how my life has given me so much. Yes it has been intense, so worth it and I am still digging deep to learn, to love and to forgive.
May you find some value here.
I read a book years ago about the teachings of the Hathors. I don't have an in depth knowledge about them, One of the authors was Tom Kenyon, and extraordinary man. I was left with a very important road map.
We as humans, we have two things we do that can clog up the works on our journey to health..
1 Judgement of our feelings
When we judge our feelings as bad, wrong, evil or not spiritual we clog up the works. Remember we do have our moral compass
As you fuel your healing of the consciousness of disease or dysfunction, remain ever mindful to remain in your heart. So much can happen here. For me as I continue to release trapped feelings, sometimes feelings that have gone on for generations, it gets easier and easier. Once released I am always filled with relief and joy. It is so worth it.
I have found if I view all this as trapped energy, not good or bad, it allows me to move a lot of pain, a lot of gunk. It is so important to work on this judgement piece. Your well being may depend on this one. Once released a new sense of freedom and confidence. Inner Trust grows.
Now about incompletions. Let's say I still harbor a great deal of sadness about a broken relationship. I noticed I recreated many relationships thereafter that broke in a similar way. This repeating pattern over and over made me afraid of opening my heart again.
A powerful tool is to write a letter to that person. Share all your feelings and how it made you feel. Share how it affected your life, unfiltered. Speak the unspeakable. Give yourself the time to let it rip. Allow yourself to feel it all. When you are done, you will have more understanding and more light. Some or a lot of energy will be freed up for you to use in a new way. Then shred it or burn it. A few people throughout the years have sent these letters, and I would exercise caution. If it is a big issue with this person, and you feel you must, write a few letters first so you can be clear.
There was a powerful teaching relationship that meant the world to me. Through the years this person began to do many things to sabotage me. It was crushing to me. This person had changed my life for the better in many ways.
Because I had much love for this person, I did not have the permission to let it rip. I stuffed my feelings which later turned into anger. I had to find a way of transforming my feelings.....
A lot of my clients go through this as well. If it about their mother, lets say, it can be tough to write about negative effects their actions had on you. Remember you are becoming present to a conversation that is recorded, with no malicious intent. It has been a hidden conversation that has shaped many of your choices.
I tried many ways throughout the years to heal this relationship to no avail.I didn't have permission to write a scathing letter even if I burned it. Here is the doorway. The visualization posted in the Free Resource Page. It was a Mega Transformation moment.
There is a portion of this exercise that allows you to step back and see a bigger picture. While doing this exercise I asked what this person was here to teach me and I got a resounding "to take your power back". Years of sadness transformed into an empowered moment or perspective. Many negative moments melted away, and I no longer viewed this person as a betrayer. This person remains a signal to awaken and I remain grateful for his influence in my life. My resistance melted and my energy freed up.
I have found patterns repeat until you get the teaching or the teaching gets you. Its way easier to go for the teaching.
I thought it would be fun to share some of the tools and approaches I have learned throughout the years, and some approaches that can lead to your own special tools. I am convinced one the reasons I am finding my way through this painful past is by matching the magnitude of my pattern with my commitment.
In other words my commitment has to be equal to or greater than the pattern I want to transform.
The second important step is learning to ask the right questions. There are many authors and teachers that have some fun theories and approaches. For me, when I am up against the wall I set my intent or prayer.
I know there are many ancestors and pathfinders through the ages have solved the complex journey into enlightenment. I also know for me to have chosen this path.
I have the blueprint or knowledge on how to transform or shift this issue no matter how big it may seem. I call on the earth, moon, stars and those that have gone before me to show me the way. Ultimately my prayers are always answered.
Sometime I am attached to how it might or must look I may miss the moment. I have been known to sit with my back to a tree or lay belly down on the earth and ask for help. I do live as a hermit most of the time so I haven't cared what other people would think. If you are shy about this, create a special spot inside, or a place in nature that speaks to you.
I was given an inspired meditation that I will post you can try and make your own.
This is one of my favorites to come back into balance with myself.
When I go through a darker space with scary feelings, this tool works great. Write it down, write it down without filters or judgement. Feeling streaming. Just write. When you are done, don't even read it. I stay focused on the fact that I am releasing trapped energy. Then burn it or shred it. I had a student who wrote everything down and then spent countless hours rereading it. I am not sure if that keeps you ensnared with the pain or not. Just notice, if you feel more light it is released.
Put on some music, let your feelings flow. The more "present" you are to your feelings the faster the release. This is where the magic happens.
When I was a young girl, around 7 I went on a camping trip with my father and friends. I was horribly abused. Raped by each one. It took many many years for me to release the anguish I carried. Just know you will never feel more that you can handle, ever. I always call in the souls of the "Great Beings" to help me, and they come. Never be too shy to ask.
I actually have this moment on video. I was filmed while in front of about 20 peers, and my teacher asked me how I was feeling. I said "terrified". He said, "no you are not. You are terrified of feeling your feelings. When you do, this moment will transform in minutes."
This is one of the most transforming distinctions learned this lifetime. There are so many things you can do to make this easier. Build inner trust. I have walked through unspeakable horrors just using this. Simple, yet not always easy.
Anyway I took a breath, touched my feelings and got present my terror. Breathing is important. You can see me transform in moments. My physical stature changed. I was glad to have someone being my cheerleader through this. I would say it was less than 10 minutes and the doorway to forgiveness opened along with much understanding.
I say again, you will never feel more than you can handle.
One more tool I want to share here is finding the big picture of the memory you are healing.
Each seemingly negative experience or pattern turns into the opposite when healed. A fun exercise is to make a list of memories that caused much pain.
For instance, I used to be terrified of speaking to others or in front of others. That turns into me sharing clearly and passionately.
I drew in a lot of betrayal this lifetime. That turns into having empowered relationships and I am honored and cherished by my community.
Trust has been hard for me to experience, or allow. That turns into I am supported by life......God has my back.
I have used these methods to walk out of a childhood not many people have lived through mush less exploring my heart and the goodness and magic of my life. Give it a try........
My approach will never win a popularity contest. I have found, we as human beings are inherently afraid of our feelings, at least the ones that make us feel uncomfortable or less than being spiritual beings.
As I have said before, do you really believe Creator would bless us with a vast emotional body to torture us?
Can there be a bigger picture? Can our current approach be keeping us from grander outcomes and stopping our ability to heal?
I assure you I have tried almost everything imaginable to avoid having to re-experience the pain of my past, clinging to the possibility if I just think positive thoughts or speak positive words, that alone would cause me to heal.
That approach was costly to my health. Yes I was frightened to feel my pain and re-experience remembering my childhood. Yes it was not fun, or at least during the process. Once through the release I am always filled with light, energy and able to have more inspired moments.
When I was introduced to Ho'oponopono 11 years ago I began my deep inquiry into the roles of the 3 selves. Assuming great responsibility for my life and my life choices, including choosing my blood family, the first big question that would arise was "why"?
My environment did not support this inquiry. The doctors I saw, my peers in the healing models, and even within my heart, there was a belief I was bad, tainted or harbored evil or dark thoughts.
Recently I was speaking with a friend about the passing of a mutual friend. She said to me this person died because of impure thoughts, and could not forgive . This conversation stuck with me over the last few weeks. I said to her in the moment, that forgiveness was an eternal and layered journey. This belief is confining and it somehow freezes the healing process. It also makes us feel bad and wrong.
It is fascinating that in almost all our hierarchical structures, disease is seen as bad, punishment, and that we are doing something wrong. I often ask myself, how different could my journey become if I could let go of judging what i feel?
Now celebrating a magical milestone in my journey, I experience suppressed and unfelt feelings as trapped energy. I have gained enough nimbleness in this approach that it is becoming almost second nature to me.
Finding support among a few chosen, cherished friends and Creator, is my safety.
The magic, the gifts available, the connection to my dreams, my heart, hope and possibility are only a few of the doors that open when connecting to my feelings. All of them.
After so many years walking this walk, I have developed a more tender approach, a more motherly approach, with compassion and forgiveness, that it is opening the doors to my health and remembering the magic of my life's expression. It is the knowing that my subconscious is making my choices and running my physical body. It is the understanding that that aspect of self has no discernment, and like a child needs to be listened to, needs to be loved and not judged, so it can fulfill its role to love and hear Spirit.
At long last, I feel I have integrated much from my journey to Mexico as well this most magical journey into my health. Last Christmas, I experienced an intervention, Divinity blessed me with a huge moment to reclaim my dreams and my health. Then my tooth thing happened, and I went to Mexico for dental work.
For those of you that know me well, know I have had some chronic health issues that has propelled me into the field of natural healing and protocols. During this 20-year journey in these lush mountains, my focus has been understanding the consciousness of disease as well as healing intergenerational trauma. I invested years in studying the “great herbalists” and years of ceremony working with the plants. My communion with the plant kingdom remains one of my greatest passions and the magic of my life unfolds here. Yet the tipping point for health remained elusive.
After spending over 25 hours in the dental chair, I returned home fighting for my life. My thymus even bruised in its effort to do its work. I was in a place of surrender, trusting my life brought me to this place for many gifts. It was close to 6 weeks before I could move around much.
What began to awaken was profound insights in to the consciousness of disease, as well as the thought forms of diagnosis and the many traps that can be birthed there. The power of the environment we create to heal, is vital.
I hope to share some of these insights, to support others who have physical issues that are stressful. Much of me reaching this tipping point has involved integrating, to the best of my ability, my understanding of the 3 selves, and how to bring my inner team into alignment for balance and homeostasis. The tools I have gathered over the years are working in ways that are magical, opening my heart and focus to my creativity, to fulfillment of the work I came here to do.
I will be using this page to share more…..thank you for being in my life.