It took me ages to discover the power of healing my judgments. Becoming present to difficult feelings, and beginning to learn how to welcome up those feelings, without judgement. It seemed to ignite an innate ability to come into balance. Weaving into this simple process the awareness of speaking to my subconscious/inner child as if it was a young child settled many fears. Honestly it has taken years of trial and error to learn the power of this inner relationship and its role in hearing "Spirit" and manifesting my outcomes.
Adding to this the knowing when manifesting is plugged up, it is usually fear in the inner child of the changes asked for and is lacking in trust. I feel that what is required here, the motherly charge of nurturing and loving that aspect of self.
Generations of brokenness and the transformation of reactive patterns and memories can happen here.
For years I have been driven by my strong will. Willfully fixing this and that, and all the trappings of the intellect. Really very little can heal from this place. It must be done from asking Divinity or Creator to heal these programs. And first you have to acknowledge their existence within. All that is happening in my life is an out-picturing of an unresolved trauma or memory. And with an inner child that processes 11,000,000 bits of information a second no wonder life is eternal.
As I remembered my childhood history, I certainly tried to tame that aspect of self, filled with sadness, anguish, and terror, by dominating those feelings, judging them as base in nature, and to be controlled at all costs. Deep inside I lived from a fear I would surely not live through looking at or feeling those feelings.
I think I knew I had used my judgments of others to manage my fear of intimacy, even by my judgement that they needed to be fixed or helped. The man that has had the greatest effect on my life said it is the healers of the world that have messed things up so much. I have spent over 12 years exploring that conversation and inquiry.
Who am I to judge. Creator and High Self has plans and solutions far greater than anything I could come up with.
Discomfort with my own pain was a big motivating factor in fixing others as well. I found the more comfortable I became at feeling my own pain it opened to door to listen deeper, judge less, and be filled with a profound compassion and love. I quit trying to fix them, and focus endlessly on healing myself.
Change yourself and the whole world changes. Starting to get it.