I was reading some notes I made years ago on Inner Alchemy, and I came upon a sentence that opened a lot of understanding for me. During the birthing process we experience aggressive forces from within and without, and warring elements become nourishing. So every time we experience a birth or death, the birth trauma is triggered. During birth we also become overwhelmed and flooded with stimulation.
I was reflecting on this project I am passionate about and I kept going into a state of unrest and concern. My energy definitely was not flowing. I had to find what would give me a gain of energy and an opening. I think my birth trauma was getting triggered and it was also possible this may not be the direction to pursue in this moment.
I shared with a friend this stressful approach and she suggested I do something fun and creative. I felt removed from that energy and pulled out some notes on Inner Alchemy and notes on one of my greatest loves, "The Philosopher's Stone".
The difference was dizzying. My energy opened, built and I had not a concern at all on how to make it work. I was clear this was a direction for me to take even if in that moment. Hours disappeared, my heart filled with wonder and joy.
I was reminded about the importance of interrupting old patterns. You don't have to know a right way. Sometimes it can be as simple as going for a walk.
The power for judging my journey as right or wrong definitely plugged up the works.
Also noted was the infant fills with what he fears and hates at the moment of birth, also the inner part of self is felt to be dangerous.
Makes so much sense as to why when I step into reinventing myself such big fears are resurfacing. Just reminding myself this is just another step in waking up to the process, and all that is happening is normal. What a profound moment to use my tools to elevate that conversation.
This is going to take much repetition, and hopefully this is just another step on the ladder to becoming more nimble on my journey of health and joy.