So by now you know some of my greatest passions are the studies of consciousness, disease and blocks, as well as healing intergenerational trauma.
I am purpose driven, and given my family history it was also about how to make things right with myself and my world. One of my teachers said once, if your Grandfather cut off someone’s head with an ax, the consequences will visit you. Some Native Americans say it will visit 7 generations back and 7 generations in the future.
I can tell you it is true. The violence of my lineage has visited me and all the positive thinking and pretty words would not get me free of the past. I do believe positive thoughts and language are important, however not the end all be all. Language is considered to have the lowers bandwidth of expression of all our senses.
About 9 years ago I had heard over the internet of a Clinical Psychologist from Hawaii, Dr. I’Haleakala Hew Len, who had healed the criminally insane and the ancient practice of Ho’oponopono. Now that perked my interest. I was very frightened travel and be in crowds at the time, and found out he was coming to Charlotte for a 2-day class. I was so excited to meet this man, and to hear his story. I traveled back and forth with a renewed spirit. One of the things he said first was “it is really hard to heal rape and murder”. I somehow felt relieved that such an amazing man said that to me, or at least I felt it was to me. As we journeyed with the basics, I knew my prayers were being answered. So many questions answered and a way to be 100% responsible and to make great headway. This is where my desire to learn and experience of the 3 selves was born. Every step I take is founded in the 3 selves and their expression. Here is where you can find his work Self Identity through Hooponopono - IZI LLC .
Being introduced to the principles of Ho’oponopono is a huge life changer, and quite an adventure in learning how to assume greater and greater responsibility. It was difficult at first in some areas of my life, and in the beginning triggered self judgement. And as I practiced more I felt such an amazing sense of freedom. Now I seek to get there with a great determination, and expectation of freedom and light.
I don’t always get my answers right away, and I can tell you with Ho’oponopono, much of the heaviness of my journey has lifted, and most of all the beginnings of trusting in myself, my life, and God has blazed a path for me to walk, as well as a great appreciation for this earth and her worlds. I would also say compassion and understanding of our struggles collectively has birthed from here. I recommend everyone take a class. When I had a coaching system that involved others, I made it a requirement.
I know in my heart, calling in this life, and this family, was not to punish me. My High Self called this in to bestow many gifts. I also came to understand my High Self was once a middle self and a low self, so the blueprint for my way through this life was within me. Now the question was how do I access this blueprint.
All the Holy Books speak of this path, yet before reading Max Freedom Long, I did not understand where I had really strayed. In the art of prayer and manifestation is that each one of our 3 selves have a specific function. Here is one example. We form a picture of our desire in our mind or middle self, then we pass it to our feeling body or low self, which sends it to our High Self for manifestation.
If we are not connected to our feeling body or aligned with our prayer it will not manifest. And there is usually a cluster of information that blocks that flow. That is the piece of this puzzle I love, finding the cluster of information and I must say I feel like an odd duck. Most people are terrified of this journey, and I am too at times. It is so much easier to do by healing my judgement, and seeing it as programming or clusters of information, recorded in my low self, which has not been blessed with discernment. I am reminded of information in “User Illusion” We are far greater than we imagine ourselves to be and within us is the greatest computer, with more information than every library in the world. Imagine. If this is within me, and I chose this life with all its challenges, I need to access this space. I knew I had to alter my approach and not work so hard, to understand the innate fear of the mental body to let go, and to build enough trust to let my High Self lead the way.
I feel so blessed to have chosen this life. It has been hard at times; however, the gifts are proportionate to the struggle.
I can remember when I was praying to find or discover what would keep my heart beating and without sounding corny, I knew it was love, but the package it came in was spiritually scrumptious for my soul.
God spoke to my heart and said “you are witnessing the reawakening of the Cherokee Nation and you are to…” hold a particular space. At the time I was doing some volunteer work for a very small group on researching their governing documents. Another life changer. When I would see a Native American, I would be struck with a sense of the greatness of their spirit. Later it has grown into the most immense love I have known. My heart fills with the beauty of their walk, their ability to be present, their love of community, and the deepest regret imaginable on how we stole their land, ripped their children away, tried to annihilate their culture, and the vast lies and deceit we used to get it. I honestly did not know or had ever felt the wounds and consequences of that great lie. It was the great American Genocide, killing more than 11,000,00 souls and I did not know.
I was invited because of some of my work to travel retrace the Trail of Tears with some Cherokee friends and acquaintances. It was a painful and difficult trip for all. It reminded me to continue to heal my own wounds and see and feel their victory. I was absolutely horrified to witness the consequences of how this country was founded and all the broken agreements we had made and how we had just left them to “get over it”.
This is how we are trained to be with “otherness”. If it is different from us, let’s cut it out, imprison it, keep it away…. That is what we do with wild animals, pests, homosexuality, different cultures, religions and even disease. I have witnessed more than my share of friends who have had their tongues cut out, lymph nodes, breasts, and limbs.
It is a trait of our humanness that is screaming to be healed. I have to come back to, all I can do is to heal those traits within myself, yet my heart hopes together we find a way to come back into balance and honor all life.
If disease and patterns are just consciousness, learning to be with my feelings even the darker is one of my priorities. I wonder why are we not taught how to be with them. It is truly magical when I am brave enough to feel my darker feelings, and not judge them they are transformed within minutes or days into a greater love. A closeness to God and all life.
Until I learn to be present to my humanness, all of it, not judge it, learn to love it will I experience the magic of being human and the love I am capable of.
This is the conversation I love and am engaged in. Finding easier way to love my humanness and how to set my inner child/genius free. My “Inner Child” is creating my life as it is just without my awareness in many places. I guess the magic began to open after so many disappointments that were created by my attachments to how it looked or was supposed to look. Sometimes I feel God has used the “Missouri Wear Em Down Technique” to get this ole gal to know the wonder of surrender and letting go. I have such a long way to go, and am so very blessed to be alive.