My quest this round has been; what has to be in place to make things right, to manifest my dreams, to unleash my authenticity, and to serve Creator. The same as most of us.
Because of the many years it took to process my history, inter-generational trauma, and get a handle on my chronic physical stuff, sometimes pressure is cumulative. When that happens I get soul weary. The advice I get most is be grateful, count your blessings and stay away from negativity. There is truth to that, yet when I am overloaded and overwhelmed I have to have a way of discharging my energy. I definitely do not feel heard in those situations.
If a person is balanced, centered and aligned, gratitude will open the energy. Feeling heard and not judged is a WOWZA moment. Magical just hearing myself witnessed by someone else can be most magical.
I spend a lot of time alone so I do not always have someone around who is gifted in this art of listening. I love listening for the beauty of a person in front of me and letting them discharge. One of the most profound tools I have ever explored.
Once I get present to what is really going on with me, it is so much easier to elevate that conversation. I can remember one of my teachers said, you are into self sabotage. That was a strange response to me. I replied of course I am, and if I could see it or feel it I could change it.
That is why I have found the teachings on the 3 selves so amazingly helpful. They have allowed me to understand the importance of not judging myself so much. To experience
how magical transformation can be and it is so much easier.
I can remember a moment where I was being facilitated through an old trauma. It is on film and still powerful today. He asked me what I was feeling and I replied "terrified". He said no you are not. I think my eyes glazed over because I was not relaxed. He said you are terrified of feeling you terror. If you can be fully present to your feelings, they will transform in minutes. Something clicked. I experience my terror, and within moment I could feel it leaving and in it's place a sense for profound forgiveness and a space of magical and easy healing.
So then began one of my greatest passionate inquiries. Learning how to be present to what I feel, letting go of judgement, and allow the magic of being human to grow.