I love having found this information. This quest for healing historical trauma has spanned over 35 years. This is a compilation of information from many extraordinary pioneers, and I am forever grateful for their courageous work.
I had a huge trauma about motherhood when I was under 15 and through the years this moment got wired into not only my identity as a woman, also it entangled my creativity and birthing projects.
Even though I have shown promise as an artist, I was always faced with massive blocks and anxiety. Years if learning how to discharge the trauma coupled with working with the 3 selves has opened the door to exploring my creativity with joy and passion.
As I began studying great coaches, in the arena of music and sports (Tim Gallwey, "The Inner Game of Music") I realized every time I approached my studio I was filled with the expectation of blocks and disappointment. I remembered Gallwey gave an example of a tennis player having a run of missing the ball. Soon he began expecting to miss the ball, and his game went down hill. He was coached to perceive the ball from the perspective of learning the spin, the angle and speed. His game shifted almost immediately.
I decided to give it a try. As I walked into my studio, I set up the expectation of a journey of discovery. What was I going to learn and how fun could I make this experience. I also included many conversations with my inner child on eliciting her cooperation. I also added "why questions" for example; why is it so easy for me to be creative? why am I having so much fun exploring my vision? why is it so easy to share my passion?
As I continue with my inner child work I am accessing a creative stream that is exciting and exhilarating. I worked on my block as an artist most of this life. It is so amazingly sweet to begin to taste the profound wonder of letting go.
Since writing this blog I am brought back to basics and understand my inner child is still fearful of some of the changes I am asking for. I have been missing the boat of a deeper listening and clearing. This is an ongoing conversation where I have to remind myself of this important relationship.
When my perceptions are filtered through good/bad, right/wrong, I am handicapped to find new solutions and to see clearly. When I am present or aware, without judgment, my actions align with my commitments.
When I judge, I begin to try, and create doubt and tension.
It takes trust to allow my simple awareness, allowing my Inner Child to take charge, explore trial and error to reach peak experience or performance.
I have found I have to give myself permission to fail, a second chance, leaving me free to deal with the task at hand. I had to stop trying and be one with the moment, and eliminate concern for getting it right. By releasing conscious control and turning it over to the “Inner Child”, difficult tasks are a whole lot easier to deal with.
By focusing on the now, we relax our “trying” and allow us to choose the most natural direction for change.
We can feel, know what works and what doesn’t
Noticing subtle changes gives us new tools to solve problems and build on successes
Awareness can sometimes allow us to see the problem behind the problem
Accepting the situation as it is sometimes opens the opportunity for change
Pay attention to how you feel when doing your job
Find what you can love, or enjoy
When we don’t challenge ourselves, cause ourselves to stretch, we sink into mediocrity and boredom. We reach new heights by building on what we know, mastering technique, instilling confidence, inspiring us to learn more. Noticing our growth as it occurs provides us with the encouragement and discipline to continue learning. It is through this repetition, we begin trusting the relationship with the “Inner Child”; opening the doors to our vast reservoir of knowledge and ability to problem solve and find solutions.
Over thirty-five years ago I made a powerful commitment to do whatever it took to heal myself.. My emotional life was a mess and I began my search for tools and technologies that produced