My approach will never win a popularity contest. I have found, we as human beings are inherently afraid of our feelings, at least the ones that make us feel uncomfortable or less than being spiritual beings.
As I have said before, do you really believe Creator would bless us with a vast emotional body to torture us?
Can there be a bigger picture? Can our current approach be keeping us from grander outcomes and stopping our ability to heal?
I assure you I have tried almost everything imaginable to avoid having to re-experience the pain of my past, clinging to the possibility if I just think positive thoughts or speak positive words, that alone would cause me to heal.
That approach was costly to my health. Yes I was frightened to feel my pain and re-experience remembering my childhood. Yes it was not fun, or at least during the process. Once through the release I am always filled with light, energy and able to have more inspired moments.
When I was introduced to Ho'oponopono 11 years ago I began my deep inquiry into the roles of the 3 selves. Assuming great responsibility for my life and my life choices, including choosing my blood family, the first big question that would arise was "why"?
My environment did not support this inquiry. The doctors I saw, my peers in the healing models, and even within my heart, there was a belief I was bad, tainted or harbored evil or dark thoughts.
Recently I was speaking with a friend about the passing of a mutual friend. She said to me this person died because of impure thoughts, and could not forgive . This conversation stuck with me over the last few weeks. I said to her in the moment, that forgiveness was an eternal and layered journey. This belief is confining and it somehow freezes the healing process. It also makes us feel bad and wrong.
It is fascinating that in almost all our hierarchical structures, disease is seen as bad, punishment, and that we are doing something wrong. I often ask myself, how different could my journey become if I could let go of judging what i feel?
Now celebrating a magical milestone in my journey, I experience suppressed and unfelt feelings as trapped energy. I have gained enough nimbleness in this approach that it is becoming almost second nature to me.
Finding support among a few chosen, cherished friends and Creator, is my safety.
The magic, the gifts available, the connection to my dreams, my heart, hope and possibility are only a few of the doors that open when connecting to my feelings. All of them.
After so many years walking this walk, I have developed a more tender approach, a more motherly approach, with compassion and forgiveness, that it is opening the doors to my health and remembering the magic of my life's expression. It is the knowing that my subconscious is making my choices and running my physical body. It is the understanding that that aspect of self has no discernment, and like a child needs to be listened to, needs to be loved and not judged, so it can fulfill its role to love and hear Spirit.